After writing what I did, I felt this desperate urgency to tell him that I love him. I rushed, dressed and dashed to Victoria station. I saw his train pull away. I was too late; I missed my chance.

Last night I commented that he looked sad. He said he was only sad that we didn't have anything to talk about. That's so far from the truth. I have so much to say. My heart and mind are full and racing. I've always lacked the verbal way to express everything.

This love has been beautiful and tragic. But I regret nothing, hope for everything and am thankful that at the very least, I have experienced love to its fullest. At least I've known what it's like to truly love.

I haven't experienced abscence like this in months. I'm surrounded by throngs of people in this airport, but I feel so alone that my heart aches. I feel the loss of his presence so incredibly distinctly.